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Divorce When You Have Children – 3 Steps You Can Take to Make Your Divorce Less Stressful On Your Children

By: The Igwe Firm
August 16, 2016

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Divorce is never a pleasant experience, but it is particularly challenging when there are children involved. Whether your children are very young, are adolescents, or are grown adults, divorce causes confusion and has the potential to cause conflict and pain. Parents who recognize and understand how and why this happens have the opportunity to take preventative steps and make the process more manageable and less challenging.

If you are about to being the divorce process and you have children, choosing a compassionate attorney who can help you manage the situation in the least stressful way possible is one of the best ways that you can help them. The Igwe Firm is an experienced law firm that is committed to helping to make the divorce process easier. Contact us today to set up an appointment and discuss our philosophy and approach.

Whether your children are still in school or are already out of the house, divorce can set off a sense of loss and confusion. Children may feel the need to choose sides or to try to convince parents that they should change their minds. Young children can exhibit attention-seeking behaviors while older children may suffer from depression or anxiety. Divorcing parents can take specific steps to minimize the negative emotions that their children feel. Here are three of the most effective steps you can take to make your divorce less stressful for your children.

  • Talk about the divorce, but don’t engage in negativity, name-calling or too many specifics. While communicating your own concerns can open the door to your kids doing the same, and expressing their own feelings and worries in a healthy way, if you take things too far and say negative things about your spouse it can force a child to choose sides, and that puts them in a difficult position that can turn to anger.
  • Establish a parenting plan that puts the children first. Rather than trying to exert dominance over the other parent, or inflict pain on them by fighting over custody and parental responsibilities, create a schedule of responsibilities that helps deflect anger and creates an environment in which you can successfully coparent. This will encourage your children to feel more comfortable and have a strong sense that both of you still care about them.
  • Do not discuss money or any of the conflicts or details of the divorce with your children. No matter their age, children do not want to hear that one of their parents is not providing for their needs, has been unfaithful, or any of the other conflicts that arise in the midst of a divorce.

There are a number of issues that need to be addressed in a divorce, and when there are children in the marriage those issues can easily become more stressful and contentious. At the Igwe Firm, we work hard to help you through these challenges, listening carefully to understand your goals and working in a calm and decisive manner with opposing counsel in order to achieve the outcomes that work best for all involved. Call us today to learn more about how we can help you through this challenging time in your life.

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